wtf?

Q:  i've never heard of this show before, but you make it sound like ohmygod covered in awesome sauce and sprinkled with love. what's it all about?

have you been living in a cave in afghanistan? not possible because they have internet in those caves, so i don't know where you've been, but vampires are in, my friend. vampires, vampires and more vampires.


Q:  no, really. what is this show about?

dude, go to the cw website: http://www.cwtv.com/shows/the-vampire-diaries


Q:  can't you just tell me something? anything?

stefan and damon salvatore are brothers. they also happen to be 150 year old vampires. (whatever). elena gilbert is not a vampire, but she looks just like a vampire that stefan and damon used to know. (and by "know," i mean "have sex with"). jeremy is elena's brother. jenna is elena's aunt. zach is stefan and damon's blood relative, but don't worry, he dies in like, episode five for no reason. bonnie is a witch. (as in, you know, an actual witch, not in the personality sense. although sometimes in the personality sense too). she's elena's best friend. caroline is a whore. (technically she is also elena's friend). matt is so nice it makes everyone want to vomit all the time. (he and elena used to date). tyler is a werewolf but we don't technically know that yet. the council is a group of humans in town who know that vampires exist and incompetently try to stop them. (i should add that damon is on the council...case and point). drama ensues in the 21st century.


Q:  you don't always write about the episodes in order.

OHMYGOD i don't?!


Q:  why not?

because.


Q:  are you always this difficult?

yes.


Q:  why don't you blog about new episodes until sunday?

because i watch the show online and the cw hates me so they don't post episodes online until sunday. trust me, this kills me as much as it kills you.


Q:  why does this blog start at season 1, episode 19?

because that's when i decided to start blogging. it's also why early on the episodes are in a crazy order. that and, you know, it's my blog so i can do whatever i want while remaining totally immune to your complaints and judgment.


Q:  are you one of those lame people who blogs about television?

i am now.


Q:  how does this make you feel?

basically awesome.